The bitch is back!: Auntee Social says `welcome back to the clubs, let’s stay safe, follow rules’

Well, the Bitch is back, at least for this month. Belated congrats to my old boss, Rob Schlegel, two dear, dear friends from long ago, Lyn Collier and Terry Wilsey for publishing the Spectrum. There’s a fourth partner, and I’m saving him for last. One, he’s so cute and two, who would ever believe Rob would get married and three, who would think anyone could ever put up with him? Congrats to Lucas Navarro-Schlegel, the Spectrum partner in charge of social media and a very brave soul.

Anyway, for those who don’t know me, I used to write the gossip, err, I mean social news column for the Las Vegas Bugle, which was formerly published by Rob Schlegel. I never thought he would get back into the biz but I guess he’s crazier than even I knew. I’ll bet Lyn had something to do with it. When I retired in the early 2000s, no one could imagine the tRump Virus and what it would do to the entertainment industry. The boss, knowing I hang with Mel Cole occasionally (one of my better sources) asked me to recap what’s going on with our local clubs.

Congrats a thousand times over to Jimmy Emerson (hello Roxie!), Jim Last and Neal Dorfman. Jimmy’s@ Madisons finally opened in early October. We’ve all been anxiously waiting, but no one more than Jimmy, Jim and Neal.

You think I got Jim Lash’s name wrong in the previous sentence? Hell no! It’s ‘cause the Last I saw him, he was a cute, little dancing boy. Well that was a long, long time ago. Neither Roxie Starr nor Yours Truly have aged more than a week, but the rest of you! Hello?

I was pretty bent out of shape since none of the boys issued me an engraved invitation to the ribbon cutting festivities. In tears, I called my dear friend Kitty Litter, who patiently explained there wasn’t a grand opening. It was a soft opening, announced as promised on Facebook and all very low key. Hell, I heard Roxie Starr didn’t even dress for the nonevent.

Miss Kitty says they’re planning a big shindig as soon as COVID-19 is under control, so she reminds everyone to wear your mask, social distance and for gawd’s sake, wash your hands and carry your personal hand sanitizer. Agreed! Let’s get over this and get our
lives back!

Speaking of masks, seems like everyone is making them. The boss told me two of his sisters are sewing masks and he’s bitching ‘cause they insisted he run an ad for them or they’ll spill a couple embarrassing incidents from his childhood.

Get Booked has some pretty cool masks, made by Andrew Christian, Cellblock12 and Gwiz. All three of those design firms specialize in men’s g-strings, and if you think about it, a mask isn’t much different! Andrew Christin has one with a grommet over the mouth, which is perfect for the bar. Insert the straw and keep the mask on! I would advise you carry a regular spare since the hole, if you’re not sucking on a straw, sort of defeats the purpose of the mask. Nevertheless, great idea. See Wes or Raul and buy the latest design.

While you’re at Get Booked, check out their g-strings, underwear and swimwear. Thinking of underwear and what normally goes in them, I’m reminded of a drawing someone sent me. It showed a guy wearing a mask with his nose sticking out and then a drawing of a guy wearing underwear with his dinga-ling hanging out, over the top. Both defeat the purpose, so if you’re ballsy and see someone wearing a mask under their nose, ask about their underwear.

Guy and Robert over at the Garage report business is booming – well, as much as it can at 50 percent occupancy. While they would love to have you come up to the bar and order your drink, just remember the rules are different today. They have to send a cocktail server to your table, take your order and deliver it.

Try to cut the bars a little slack.  They can’t be expected to have a server for every two tables, and if they did, you couldn’t afford the drink prices or the tips to cover that expense. Be patient and we’ll get through this. Remember, masks are required. When entering, leaving, using the restrooms … anytime you’re not seated, masks are required.

Don’t forget, there are city, county and state agencies out patrolling the bars, usually undercover. The bars enforce social distancing, masks and sanitation standards for both your protection and theirs. If you’re seen violating them, you may get asked to leave, but the bars will get fined and possibly closed. If I were snarky, I might remind you that a cocktail server is the only way some of you can get a hot guy to your table!

QuadZ Las Vegas, still one of the funnest bars in town (my editor says “most fun” is grammatically correct). Still serving stiff drinks and it’s happy hour with Sebastian from noon to 8 p.m.

Flex has added food items. Formerly known as the Highlander Bar, many, many years ago, before coming out as gay, Flex used to have a kitchen. While it was closed for the quarantine, they did some remodeling and replaced the kitchen. Mel Cole tells me the menu is super cheap and the food is great. Check out their new LED wall. It’s just like being in an aquarium. Gaming starts at 5-cents!

Fun at The Phoenix. Who’d have thunk that when Jeff, former owner of the Goodtimes, bought the Stock Exchange/Escape Lounge on W. Sahara, it would become a roaring success as The Phoenix? Congrats to the threepartners, Shane, Landon and Gabe. They just happened to have a restaurant license, so were allowed to remain open most of the time. Plus, it didn’t hurt that they knew how to run a fun, fabulous bar before tRump pandemic hit. Happy Hour has returned from noon to 5 p.m., with 50 percent off all drinks.

Two of my favorite haunts are in the Commercial Center. Both the Spotlight and Badlands are within walking distance of each other. Both are open and many of the regulars are back. Badlands is a bar in transition, changing from country to something a bit different. Staff is friendly and they feature Monday night football. Charlies, the spacious country bar South of Tropicana on Arville, has their Sunday Funday with djpandafunk and a $10 beer bust which starts at 4 p.m. and includes $3 Long Island’s and Adios MF’s, all day and all night.

Allow me to opine just a bit. We all know that “the bars” have not only been our social hub for all these years, but it’s where we organized, rallied, showed our pride, raised funds during the AIDS epidemic and found sanctuary. Many of us also found the love of our lives. Hopefully those who own them have also earned a decent living. For the past six months or so, it’s more likely the bars have drained the owners’  bank accounts and sadly, a few probably won’t survive.

When you see the Spectrum being distributed at their clubs, thank them! A few of them still understand their importance in our political movement, so if you see them reminding their patrons to register and vote, those are the owners who truly understand their role in our community.

The Spectrum has been doing a voter’s guide since 1996, so if your favorite watering hole is running political spots on their video monitors, give them a virtual hug. Double the bartender’s tip on your next drink and thank them for running those spots and for making this magazine available.

Speaking of available (and I’m always looking for the next hot guy!), if you’re not getting the Spectrum delivered at home, you can become a sponsor by texting “SPONSOR” to 555888. Anyone who sponsors the Spectrum, automatically gets priority for the mailed copies. If you’re not on the priority list, you’ll likely get the magazine every other month or perhaps every third month. The mailing list is too large so the non-paid members get sporadic deliveries.

As I’m writing this, just heard from Chris, the manager over at Piranha. He asked for the Spectrum’s logo and is working on advertising our voter guide, probably in between drink specials. Thanks Chris!

The Garden is our newest, LGBTQ hot spot, downtown in the Arts District. Mel Cole reports there are fun shows and an outside area to eat and drink. Their next “Yappy Hour,” in support of Noah’s Animal House, will be Nov. 7. Congrats guys and my dogs say, “arf arf!”

Fun Hog Ranch happy hour runs until 8 p.m., but use your drink tickets until 9 p.m. Will Glenn, the hot little bear manager says the trick cards work 24/7, if you’re lucky. All the little piggies are welcome back to the Ranch. Let me close with the Las Vegas Eagle. Judy and her crew did a little remodeling while shut down and the place looks super. The bar is home to the Big Gay Men’s Club and often features my bestie, DJ Kitty Litter.

Finally, Kitty Litter tells me how grateful she was for the Spectrum’s Voter Guide and reminds everyone to vote! She says you can even register at any of the early polling locations, and even Nov. 3, but be prepared to wait, so get off your duff and get it done